Archive for February, 2010

Random tweet re: #olympics

Thanks for the RTs: mtlb, andrewcareaga, ijohnpederson and phil_beresford

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My Blog Post About My Buzz Post to the Makers of Google Buzz

CAUTION: Dirty words ahead.

The following was posted to Buzz, but since nobody goes there, I thought I’d post it to my blog so I could cover all the places nobody goes…

My Open Buzz Post to the Makers of Google Buzz:

Do NOT activate the “Post” button until the post reaches 141 characters AND disable the option to link Twitter to Buzz, serious, it’s fucking stupid to read tweets here. And when I respond to these phantom tweets, nobody ever responds back. I blame you, not my non-engaging, yet somewhat witty replies.

Realize that Facebook bought FriendFeed before you because they understand social on the same level that you understand fancy math (and free email). Accept who you are, the owner of all of our information, not the social hub of all our dreams. You’re a phone book, not the little black book. Deal with it.

Go back to Wave and make that shit work better. You had a kid, she didn’t live up to your expectations, so you had another one. But let’s be honest, if you spent more time with Waverly, she could grow up to be awesome. NEVER give up on a kid, it’s a douche move and you’ll pay for it someday.

STOP taking the path to become the next Microsoft. I loved you, man. But you got way too big, your head got clouded with world domination plans and wicked cool car collections. Your own employees smelled this shit cooking and suggested you adopt the “don’t be evil” motto at a meeting. They never wanted you to exploit the user, yet here I find Buzz stuck in my gmail. When Honda invented that lame ass robot, they didn’t stop by the house and sneak one into my wife’s Odyssey. I’m half expecting the final episode of LOST to end with a shot of the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 chilling at a BBQ at the Googleplex, pointing and laughing at the screen with a slow wash out and a big GOOGLE appearing. STOP fucking with your faithful fans, or the show will lose viewers and end sooner than you expected. How does the Google story end? Hopefully with more fans than enemies, but that’s up to you. Remember ALL stories come to an end, nothing lasts forever. How will you be remembered?

We can still be friends. I’d still like to borrow your crescent wrench when I can’t find mine, lend me 2 cups of sugar when my pantry runs dry, have you check my mail when I’m out of town (forwarding it via gmail would be sweet). But coming over to the house for Thanksgiving, fuck no. I don’t like you like that… anymore. You had me at hello, but lost me with an awkward wave. AND while I can’t quit you, I can be more selective how I use you. Buzz, I hardly knew you or your sister, your parents are good people, just a little misguided at times. I wish you both luck and hope to watch you grow.

Remember, “don’t be evil” isn’t a slogan, it’s a fear of what your own employees saw as an inevitable future for any large corporation attempting to hoard all of the world’s riches. I’ve developed a new motto for you to write on your whiteboards “don’t attempt to be something you are not.”

PS – I’d pay to have a painless YouTube upload experience, make that shit happen, and all is forgiven.

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Foursquare and seven spots ago

My biggest gripe with Foursquare has been the inability to move a location once it has been created (guessing a problem only felt by the WiFi-dependent, and those with vague addresses).

Today I discovered pins for spots that you’ve created can be moved. I’m not a super-user, so I’m pretty sure I didn’t unlock any magical powers that make it possible. The same task I attempted to perform last week and couldn’t, is now possible — a huge WIN.

Now my gripe has shifted to the map view Foursquare gives the user. It doesn’t include an option for satellite/aerial, so moving the pin is a shot in the dark — a huge FAIL.

So I opened another browser window and compared Foursquare’s Google map with a full blown Google map… and that’s when I discovered the Foursquare Mapplet. It overlays Foursquare spots on a Google map (even in Satellite view).

So here’s what you do:

Even though my map refresh looked like a FAIL, it actually worked. And while I thought this would be helpful, I’m secretly hoping Foursquare will add the satellite view to their map and this post gets deleted. 🙂

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Facebook captcha gets brutally honest

Facebook’s Security Check now has a feature called “RUsure” which helps eliminate needless posts on Facebook fan pages by overzealous page admins.*

The fan page admin can’t turn the feature on/off… it turns on automatically after 6 posts within a 24 hour time period and will only turn off after one of those posts receives 5 “likes” or 3 comments.

*RUsure is only available for page admins as of this posting, fans of the page will not trigger RUsure even if they post 10 times about an event that happened two weeks ago within a 30 minute time period. However, rumors suggest it is in development.

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My Super Bowl Ad: Fleet Farm – If it’s legal, we got it #mySBad

I chose Fleet Farm for my user-generated Super Bowl commercial. Partly because I needed to pick up dog food, spray enamel and nuts before watching the game… and no other store has those three things at such great prices.

I wanted to show the variety of things that Fleet Farm has on its shelves. Want a life size resin cow, they got it. Want a matching resin calf, they got it. Chicken feed, got it. Heated bird bath, got it. Shotgun shells, got it. Ceiling fan, got it. 2X4, got it. Christmas decorations (in February), got it…

Basically they have everything, except beer and liquor. Usually that’s a deal breaker, but this store is so good I can actually shop it sober. Thanks Fleet Farm, you are awesome!

#mySBad

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My Super Bowl Ad (the details) #mySBad

Nothing to do before the big game?

Create your very own Super Bowl commercial:

  1. make a 30 second spot for the brand of your choice
  2. post to YouTube and add the tag mySBad
  3. during the Super Bowl tweet a link to your video with the hash tag #mySBad

Super short notice on this, so the worse they are, the better!

Yes, filling a glass with beer is a commercial… so don’t pretend you can’t play due to budget constraints.

If for some reason you didn’t understand the words above (or you like watching fat people talk to themselves), I shot a video explaining the concept just for you.

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